I received this poem framed as a gift from a wonderful friend. It effected me in ways I can’t explain. I display it in my bedroom and refer to it on those less than wonderful days. I hope you’ll give it to someone if your life who has the same type of struggles.
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For Chosen Mothers (3625 downloads )
For Chosen Mothers
Most women become mothers by accident, some by choice, a few by social pressures, and a couple by habit. This year, nearly 100,000 women will become mothers of a child with special needs. Did you ever wonder how mothers like this are chosen?
Somehow I visualize God hovering over earth selecting His instruments for propagation with great care and deliberation. As he observes, He instructs His angels to make notes in a giant ledger.
“Armstrong, Beth, son. Patron saint, Matthew. Forrest, Marjorie, daughter. Patron saint, Cecelia. Rudledge, Carrie, twins. Patron saint… give her Jude. He’s used to profanity.”
Finally, He passes a name to an angel and smiles, “Give her a child with special needs.”
The angel curious. “Why this one, God? She’s so happy.” “Exactly”, smiles God. “Could I give a child with special needs a mother who does not know laughter? That would be cruel.”
“But has she patience?” asked the angel. “I don’t want her to have too much patience or she will drown in a seal of self-pity and despair. Once the shock and resentment wears off, she’ll handle it.
“I watched her today. She has that feeling of self and independence that is so rare and so necessary in a mother. You see, the child I’m going to give her has his own world She has to make him live in her world and that is not going to be easy.”
“This one is perfect. She has just enough selfishness.” The angels gasps, “Selfishness? Is that a virtue?” God nods. “If she can’t separate herself from the child occasionally, she’ll never survive. Yes, here is a woman whom I will bless with a child less than perfect. She doesn’t realize it yet, but she’s to be envied. She will never take for granted a ‘spoken word’. She will never consider a ‘step’ ordinary. When her child says “Mama’ for the first time she will be present at a miracle and know it! When she describes a tree or sunset to her child, she will see it as few people ever see my creations.
“I will permit her to see clearly the things I see… ignorance, cruelty, prejudice… and allow her to rise above them. She will never be alone. I will be at her side every minute of every day of her life because she is doing my work as surely as she is here by my side.
“And what about her patron saint?” asks the angel, her pen poised in mid-air.
God smiles. “A mirror will suffice.”
I believe this was written by Erma Bombeck many years ago; I’ve kept copies to give to special moms like me over the years. It has always spoken to me as a parent of a child with autism, because it is so real; we aren’t saints, we just love our kids with all our hearts, and with God’s help, we can make sure that they thrive.
We are a special needs family and I can not stop crying after reading this. It is truely the most beautiful thing I ever read. Thank You & Bless You
I wanted to say thank you for posting this where I could find it when I least expected it, on a day that I needed it most. I have 3 special children each in his own way. This touched me deeply and I wanted to say Thank You. 🙂
Dear Laurie,
Thank you for keeping Executive Homemaker up and running. I found this site through your Tip Junkie site. LOVE, LOVE, LOVE them both. I have a high functioning autistic (Asperger) son also. He just turned 19, sometimes I didn’t think I’d make it through those younger years. :~) I’ve seen the “Welcome to Holland” story before and of course cried while reading it. But I’ve never seen “For Chosen Mother’s”. Thank you for posting this one also. I have two very good friends who both have a child like mine, but much younger, I will be making plaques out of this for all of us. Thanx again, Cathie